Forgiveness is a Sin
by Hakuyaoshi
Summary: Though the Dark Lord is gone, Severus having survived the fatal wound will see he still has a purpose to serve in trying to help fight against a new threat rising in the magickal world. Rated M for future chapters. Updates on Mondays. possible SSx?
1. Prologue

**My attempt of a HP story, please be nice seeing I never have done one before, I tend to stick with Hellsing fanfics mostly^^;**

**So without further adieu, I bring you '**

Darkness; screaming; fear; panic... Pain... The pain burned through his very heart, his very veins. The spilled blood losing its warmth on his saturated robes brought a chilling hand of deaths closing grasp on the fallen mans heart.

The pit of despair near choking while the eyes of darkness gazed down at the man who never saw himself as a hero nor as anyone with a kind heart. He made it a point to be cruel, cold, and unwanted not by everyone that he met in his now fading life, but within his own heart.

He hated what he had become, what he had allowed to befall on those he so long ago cared for. No pity was to be given him from anyone let alone himself.

_Lily..._

His eyes half open began to glaze over, the tears beginning to glisten in his darkening eyes. He had failed her by simply knowing her... In the end even his attempt to save her very existence from the growing evil known as Voldomort.

_Failure..._

That very word rang in his weakening heart like a dagger of poison. Poison; the analogy he had used to compare that word made a weak smile glimmer in his eyes while a single tear slipped down his pale ashen face. He laid there within the shrieking shack, the fang holes oozing both his blood and the poison from that hellish snake.

A coffin fitting for this man to die in...

A cough racked through the man's chest, a droplet of blood slipping down the corner of his mouth as he giving into a final sigh looked to the decrepit ceiling above. He never thought to see himself die like this, perhaps with the Dark Lord using his own magic or the Potter boy taking him out with such vile hatred as he has seen in the boy's vivid green eyes... but not like this.

Such a waste...

His very life felt like a waste of breath when all he has ever caused was suffering and misery to everyone around him. No matter; he felt his life slipping away to death's eternal slumber. He would be gone and forgotten.

Eyelids slid shut, his heart slowing and his body cold like ice from his icy blood chilling to the feral winds that blew through the broken windows of the shack.

Cold; so cold...

'Snape!"

He heard the cry of his name, but the man did not care, he simply wanted to leave. To be left alone and die in peace.

_Go away... leave me be..._

As those words slipped through his quieting mind all breath ceased and blackness swallowed up Severus Snape throwing him into unconscious bliss.

"Snape!"

Ron raced over to the fallen body of the professor as Hermione was leaning over his body, wand tip glowing as she whispered swift incantations over Snape's form.

"Is he?" was all Ron could whisper through his broken bleeding lips. The red head may have hated this oaf but he never wanted him to die. Hermione hushing Ron with a hiss from her lips proceeded to move her wand upwards from Snape's stomach right for his throat.

The glowing point trembling from the girl's weakening grip, her brow covered in cold sweat, gritted her teeth as a vile yellowish fluid began to seep from the man's mouth, flowing out of the corners of his mouth washing away the blood that had formally resided on the ashen flesh.

As the final drops slipped down Hermione watching the body with her sharp eyes brought her wand swiftly to Snape's chest and with a harsh breath escaping her lips.

"_Thundaris!"_

the woman nearly yelled the spell as a bolt of lightening flew from her wand tip and smashed into the man's chest.

Her eyes snapping to his pale face, both Ron and Hermione held their breath as a few seconds ticked by. "Perhaps again?"

"No; it would kill him for sure." came her hushed reply as Ron with a agitated breath looked at her. "And surly the poison will not?"

"I am trying everything I can Ron!" her eyes flew to his as the hot tears slipped down her face. Taken back by her words Ron swallowing weakly looked back at Snape's form. "He can't die... He simply can't. He was too much of a bloody arse to die so eas- Wait... look! Hermione!"

Hermione wiping her eyes onto her sleeve looked at where Ron pointed and saw the faintest of cloudy vapor passing from Severus's parted lips.

"he's..."

"He's breathing, he's a live! You did it!" Ron with a stupid grin breaking over his face embraced Hermione hard as she with a dumbfounded expression watched the subtle signs of Severus's body coming to life.

"I knew you could do it. See that you old sod! You cannot die that easily, I knew it!" Ron laughed with one around still loosely wrapped around Hermione's neck pointed his free arm at the professor, his laughter filling the hallow emptiness of the shrieking shack.

Agony; pain... Hot pain lashed through the waking man as his brow dripping in sweat, eyes pulled partially open to snarl silently at the bright light within the room he resided in.

_Where am I?_

The man's eyes holding that harshness albeit it being weakened from his recent trials of survival did not lose any of its luster as he glaring about realized he was in the hospital wing of Hogwarts.

_But how? I should be dead..._

His strong mind suddenly awakening fully, Severus had to know what has happened. Flexing his fingers and toes, the man was greeted with sudden waves of nauseous pain riddling all over his body.

Madame Pomfrey hearing the anguished groan made a bee line to one of the sick beds cloaked by the sterile white drapes. Almost all the hospital beds were empty now from the many injuries of the war with the Dark Lord. Those that emained had been the worst injured.

Lupin having mended from his savage battle with his former werewolf maker remained to tend to the remainder of the injured. Fred and George stayed around to keep an eye on their youngest brother Ron who having helped drag the professor back to Hogwarts gained a bit of the serpent's venom into a open wound of his.

He was not in any real threat of his survival but due to the demands of Madame Pomfrey and his own Mother he had remained in the hospital wing.

One of the auroras; Alana Aldhelm, a witch who was a Metamorphmagus like Tonks, in the end when she had tempted to go disguised as a death eater, they had found her out and her attacker used the cutting curse. As Madame Pomfrey passed by the petite woman's bed, she quickly checked on the woman who had lost her right arm from the shoulder. It was all they could do to sustain her fading life, the arm had been to mangled to keep and no methods of magic would have helped.

The poor dear...

This particular patient though... Pulling one of the sheets aside saw Severus's glowering beetle eyes boring right into her own, his body was frail but that gaze told the good woman that his will and mind were not.

A small smile played on her lips as she pulling the sheet closed behind her, examined Severus ignoring his complaining growls while she checked his pulse with her fingers to the right side of his neck.

"Hush; you have no voice from all the screaming you have been doing these past few weeks. You should be grateful you are even alive Severus."

Seeing his hard gaze she sighing released her fingers from his pulse and looked down at him with deep sorrow in her once so cheery eyes.

"You were close to death but two of your students removed the poison from your body and dragged you back to Hogwarts. Though the amount of poison that would have killed you was removed there was still enough in there to cripple your body."

Seeing his stare shift she picking up the small notepad that had been resting by his bedside on a small wooden table, began to look through the notes written on the cream colored paper.

"You have been unconscious for almost a month Severus."

Severus's lips moved but only a chirp escaped his mouth making the man tenderly grasp his throat with a very unhappy glint in his eyes.

Madame Pomfrey resting her hand on Severus's shoulder without to much strength, guided him to lay back down on the bed. He allowed it but his eyes showed his not wishing to comply.

"You need to rest Severus. Now I am going to speak to McGonagall that you have awoken." And with that, the small woman left him laying there, staring at the ceiling with confused muddle emotions stirring in his heart.

He had lived by the sake of two students, why did they not simply let him die? He made all his students fear him and god help him if a Slytherin had aided in his survival, they would have taken his wand long before helping him live.

So now one question rang through the man's mind as he continued to stare at that ceiling hanging above his head while his mind throbbed with pain and his body cried out in agony to any slight movement.

_What do I do now?_


	2. A new beginning

**I do so hope everyone is still enjoying this fic, again this is my first HP fic so I am not sure I am doing a good job with it, either way every monday will be updates and who really knows where this plot will twist and turn^^ Until then enjoy!**

Eyes flash open in the darkness, a man sits up hard in the black satin sheets of his bed. With body quaking from the nightmare, his face buried in his hands, the man took in ragged breaths. Cold sweat caked his bare upper body.

"A nightmare... all it was was a bloody nightmare..." His hard voice softly spoke in the darkness as he pulled his hands away from his face.

The faint knock on the door made the man jump, wand instantly pointed at the door, his dark eyes glittering in the darkness.

"Professor Snape?"

A student at his door... his anger soared at the intrusion of a mere child coming down to his dungeon at this forsaken hour in the morning.

"What?"

His voice barked the word not filtering his loathing for the child standing outside his door, already swearing to put more wards on his dungeons and strengthening the old ones.

"Um... It's Ron... uh... Harry wishes to spea-"

"If Potter wishes to talk to me then he can come down here and tell me so himself. I will not pay any heed to any busy bodies he sends my way." Snape growled cruelly as he heavily laid his body back down onto the soft bed, tucking the wand once more underneath his pillow.

"He is busy talking to Professor McGonagall... please?" the boy's feeble attempt at squeaking out the word _please_ may have been what did it or the fact McGonagall was in on this as well, hell it may have even been Ron's bloody presence that was annoying Snape to no end he was not going to find any rest for the remainder of this early morning.

"Fine! Inform that _boy _that I will be up shortly, now begone from my dungeon Weasley!"

Ron did not even wait around after Snape had spoken, the man in his darkened room heard the boy's feet make swift steps out of his chambers. That at least brought a smile to Snape's lips. The red head may have been one who had saved his life but at least his mere presence still brought fear to the boy.

Laying there for a few more moments, only his breath being heard in the chamber, Severus giving a silent sneer to the darkness pushing his body into a sitting position upon his bed. With a few good stretches of his ashen body, bones snapped to released tension while the man withdrawing his wand once more from the pillow confines began to light the candles that surrounded the insides of his chambers.

Ron heaving hard having practicually ran the entire length of the castle from the dungeon to the headmaster's office, was hunched over the small desk where the sorting hand resided while McGonagall and Harry looked at him after his bursting into the room.

"S-Snape is on his way up shortly... Please do not... make me do that... ever again..." the boy panted as he gave Harry a horrified look as if he had seen death itself. Harry giving his old friend a weak smile sighed and went to his side.

"I am sorry Ron, but he is coming up then?"

Ron nodding began to regain his composure as he standing a bit straight pulled down his sweat that had began to ride up when he was making his way back. "Yeah he is, but why do you need him here at such a evil hour in the morning? By how he sounded you should be ready to duel him." Ron spoke with a quiver of laughter in his voice his eyes shining at Harry whose expression having gone grim, looked away from Ron towards Fawkes that chirped at the boy.

"We need to discuss with him what his intentions are now. It has been six months since the Dark Lord fell and we have allowed him to stay here at Hogwarts-"

Ron snorted and grinned at Harry "More like forced him to stay here, he has been trying to leave Hogwarts since he could walk again." the red headed youth spoke as McGonagall with a heavy breath escaping her lungs gained both their attention.

"Professor Severus Snape would have gone straight to Azkaban and his demise if he did not remain here, it was Dumbledore's last wish that he were to remain here. He still was trialed and found guilty but our former headmaster made a deal with the Ministry of Magic that either he be imprisoned on that hellish island, or to be confined here until further noted."

The two boys trading glances looked back at their new headmistress, she spoke the truth and though the outcome may have been nicer to most, Severus did not seem like the type to accept such a form of kindness.

"Ah Severus! It is good to see you!"

Dumbledore's cheery portrait voice made the three look over as Snape entered the headmaster's office, Fawkes watching him gave a agitated squawk. Snape did not look to the portrait at all but rather seem to pale further when it had spoken so fondly of him entering the room.

"There better be a good reason why you call me out of my sleep at this hour McGonagall."

Ignoring the gazes of the two boys, Snape spitting out the words glared at the woman with his hard eyes.

Harry clearing his throat,stepped forward, taking on the full brunt of the man's cruel stare.

"I was the one who asked Ron to get you Sir." Snape's lips twisted into a cold sneer, not a spark of happiness within as he narrowed his gaze at the offspring of Potter.

"If you ever wish to summon me again, then do so by yourself. Being a celebrity does not implore waking me up with your little minions." The man growled, he saw the flicker in Harry's eyes, the gripped hands with white knuckles.

"Harry?"

Hearing Ron's words, the youth taking a slow deep breath lost all signs of aggression as he looked to Snape with a neutral expression. "I shall keep that in mind for next time, but well I wanted to know what it is you would like to do from now."

Hearing his words, Snape blinking stood tall and gave a quizzical expression to McGonagall as she with a small smile met his harsh stare.

"The new school year is soon upon us Severus and seeing of your conditions of living in Hogwarts you can become a teacher once more."

Her words hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. To teach? After all he has done, after the man he had killed? He could teach?

"Granted this place is now your cell."

"Ron!"

Both Harry and McGonagall looked aghast to Ron's words as he flushing, scuffed his shoe on the carpet with eyes turned to the ground ashamed.

"The brat is correct."

All three sets of eyes looked to Snape as he standing regal and tall with hands folded loosely over his front looked at McGonagall and only her.

"this place is indeed my prison and so I might as well keep getting some use out of it by tempting to teach these fools the delicate arts of potion making."

"Ah excellent dear boy!"

Dumbledore's picture clapped his hands together as delight twinkled in his painted face.

A grimace came from Snape's very form as he turning began to head for the exit.

"Professor Snape?"

The man stopping kept his gaze forward as he heard the woman's voice.

"Thank you."

Hearing her words, the man giving a bitter chuckle shook his head slightly as he left them in the headmaster's chambers. Yet as he walked down the long passageways back to his dungeon, the man dressed in all black could not resist the tiniest of smiles playing upon his lips.

**Still enjoying the beginning I hope? More depth will soon come but for now I am simply trying to flesh out this world! R&R most welcomed! More to come next monday!**


	3. Nothingness

**I know I said updates every monday but hell seeing I am still in the beginning of this fanfic I will add a few more throughout this week so the story should hopefully get some flesh in it by next week. I do so hope you are all enjoying it... again I am trying (weak laugh)**

"Charlie come have a look at this!"

Charlie Weasley wiping sweat from his brow in the summers heat, crept over some large rocks where his three other colleagues stood on the edge of a very recent cave in within the carpathian mountains they did their current draconic research.

The fading echoes or nearby dragons bellowing their evening calls scattered any remaining avian wildlife from the few sparse pines scattering around the rocky hides of the mountains.

"What is it you have found?" Charlie spoke in a winded voice as he tempting to not fall, slid down the rocks edge into the ruins the other three stood.

"Just look for yourself, there where the suns light reaches into the cave." the youngest of the three poke eagerly as he with a dirt lathered hand pointed to the ominous hole from where the cave had failed in its many years of strength.

Charlie leaning in for a closer looks, his dusty clothes giving him a dusty grain color in the scorching sunlight, the red headed youth saw the glistening white bones of hundreds if not thousands of dragons.

His breath caught as he stumbling, went to his knees on the rocks, hands gripping the ledge tightly saw with a gawking expression all the bones.

"We finally found one... and no one believed our research." Outright laughed one of the men as Charlie could not restrain the giddy smile breaking across his face.

"Gentlemen, we have made a discovery! A dragon graveyard just as that old fool spoke about. Come on let us get our gear prepped and go down there as soon as we can." he laughed while dusting himself off rose to his feet.

"Um... boss, one thing... what about what Dobson had told us? You know, to not disturb the grounds of where magical creatures go to die?"

Hearing the worried voice, Charlie turning around met all three pairs of eyes. His determination glowing alongside his shear joy. "He also believed we were no more then mythological seekers." the man winking twirled his wand around his fingers.

The unease lifted as they set to work on entering the cavernous hole below...

Yet...

Down in the depths of the caverns, gripped tightly in what looked like dragon talons resided a large red orb, seeming to glow from the suns touch from high above.

A low hiss echoed softly through the cavern, dust lazily swirled about. The claws upon the orb slowly began to flex as the spinal cord it was attached to began to shiver.

_Again..._

The orb began to give off a crimson steam, dancing more wildly then the swirling dust clouds.

Rocks tumbled as one of the researchers landed within the cavern. Wand held out with its tip glowing brightly, his brown eyes scanned the area.

"Brandon? You see anything?"

Hearing Charlie's voice, he coughing covered his both with his wool jacket, eyes narrowed as he tried to see anything further then the bones.

"there is nothing but bones. Wait; I think I see something."

Charlie hanging on the edge of the hole above the cavern below squinted his eyes trying to see the dark depths the sunlight would not permit.

He could only hear the rocks shift below as the man stumbled towards what he was after.

"What is it you found?" Charlie yelled down into the darkness.

Brandon shifting his weight on the loose rocks stood there peering down at the large crimson orb as large as a man's skull contained in the boney claws of a dragons hand with a spinal cord, its other end buried in the debris of rock and bones.

"I found some sort of red orb, it looks to be of our world, but wait... there is something written on it..."

Brandon kneeling down for a closer look, used his right sleeve to rub away the dirt from the the glossy surface.

"Well?"

Hearing the echoing word bounce around the cavern, Brandon gave a odd expression as he stared at the word.

"I think it is another language, it says 'Niemand'. Any ideas what that-"

His voice swiftly faded away as with wide eyes, the man staggered back hard as there within the very orbs center, a crimson demonic eye stared at him. Crackles of red light danced upon its surface as the air suddenly chilled to ice.

_Niemand... I awaken... once more..._

Rocks began to tumble from the ceiling high above as the ground shook and roared.

"Shit! Brandon get out of there! It's going to cave in!"

"Brandon!"

"Brandon Lief!"

Far below as the rocks shattered from their impact to the cavern floor below, the orb shimmered brightly as beside it a mummified male lay in dust covered clothing, his wool coat sprinkled with the rocky debris from the caving in ceiling.

"He's stuck down there!"

"No! Charlie we have to go or we all will die!"

One of the colleagues having grabbed hold of the man's waist, dragged him from the failing ledges as Charlie with wide eyes struggled to get loose, his gaze locked with the cave he had his friend go down into.

"No!"

"Brandon!"

In the failing light the orb blazed as it being the head of the spine slithered like a serpent towards a large ribcage still intact.

_I live... again..._

_"""""""""""""""""  
_

Icy blue eyes flew open as Alana; the recovering witch still within the hospital wing of Hogwarts sat up with a yell. Frantic eyes looked about the darkened room as panic rose in her heart.

"Alana?"

the woman looking over saw Madame Pomfrey in her night garments, candle in hand as she made her way over to the panic stricken female.

Trying to calm her shot nerves, Alana gave into a weak sigh as she looking down at her remaining hand, all she had was her left hand, her right utterly gone...

The tears sprang up as her hand gingerly touched the bounded shoulder. Blood still seeped through at random times when she flexed her upper body to much or in the wrong gesture.

"Dear; is everything all right?"

Hearing her soft kind words Alana looked to Pomfrey and smiled even if bitter. "I am alive and that is all that matters." she spoke laying back down on the rough white sheets of the bed, her eyes focused on the dully lit ceiling above.

Madame Pomfrey watching her sighed and nodded her head though the motion went unseen. "I will brew you up some tea then to calm your nerves. Earl gray once more my dear?"

Before she could mention the being called 'dear' Pomfrey had already left to brew the drink leaving Alana once more on that cursed bed with her fingers tenderly stroking her wounded shoulder with a numb mind.

Crippled for failing her duty, they found her out but how?

Her head felt like it was going to split in two... rubbing her temples as best she could with one hand, Alana ignored the hospital wing door open and shut with swiftness.

Black harsh eyes graced the entire hospital wing taking in all who were there, some auroras remaining to get their stitches redone or removed slept soundly on the many white beds. He scanned over the form of the one witch who had lost an arm and was tempting to rub her head. No doubt a headache...

With a breath passing his dry lips, Snape made his way towards Madame Pomfrey's personal chambers that were to the far end of the wing.

She was humming, at this bloody hour. What did she have to hum about? His mind fell silent as he breathed in the sweet aroma of the dark tea, so bitter and unloved by so many yet he loved its dark taste. Black teas in general helped aid his weary mind and body to ease from a stressful day or in his most recent months; simply unwinding him of his very life.

Standing there at the doorway to her chambers, he with shoulders pulled back and arms crossed over his chest watched her as she humming away was removing the tea ball from the teapot and began to pour tea into three cups.

He just stood there waiting for her to take notice of his leering presence as she placing two china cups on the little porcelain plates grasped them in her soft hands before turning and her oh so cheery eyes dancing as they met his beetle black.

"I figured you would arrive around this hour; here this one is yours and could you please be a dear and give this to the young lady in bed thirty four? The poor thing cannot seem to sleep well tonight. I will be here waiting for you to return." She spoke while handing the tall man the tea cups of the smooth smelling brew.

She may be annoying but Severus enjoyed her teas, the woman had a natural knack of brewing them just right.

With a grumbling breath, the man stalked out of the brightly lit room into the wing and made his way silently to the woman's bedside.

Icy blue met hard black, the two just glared at each him standing there and she on the bed with hand half poised to her side, no doubt where her wand was concealed.

With a sneer, he held the cup of tea to her. His loathing towards this woman rising as swiftly as it normally does when his room is filled with bloody gryffindors.

"Pomfrey wished you to have this." Snape spoke setting the glass rather roughly on the bedside table, turned to leave.

"Thank you..."

The man stopped for just a moment before continuing back to the doctor's chambers. Having taken a sip of his own glass, Severus could feel the coil of tension within him settle so slightly when he entered the room and saw Pomfrey sitting properly at her small tea table with a white lace table cloth.

"Please sit, I hardly see you anymore."

She spoke gesturing her head towards the empty chair on the other side of the table. Severus curled his lip to it before allowing his grumbling self to sit down.

"So I have prepared a list of the potions we need to have restocked here in the hospital wing, especially with the new year coming closer. Many students who did not finish their N.E.W.T.S. From the war are coming back here to research and take their tests."

_Why? Why carrying on as if I did nothing?_

He sipping his tea shut his eyes while the woman continued to prattle on about the upcoming school year. He had noticed all the teachers seemed to treat him as if he had not done anything; that he had not killed Dumbledore...

It infuriated him to no end... did they not hate him for killing man that many cherished?

His hands began to grip the cup tightly, his own self loathing rising like a ill bile in his gut. He did not deserve anyone's kindness nor pity. If he had not shared that memory with the Potter boy thinking he was done for... No one would see him as a bloody hero. He worked so hard to make people fear him; hate him.

Remembering Ron's fear that gave a small twitch in the corner of his mouth, he still had a good grip of fear on the students and with the new first years arriving in a matter of weeks.

"Severus!"

Snape's eyes flew open as he felt his lap get wet, looking at his hands he saw the small china cup he had been gripping shattered. Tea was soaking into his robes as the small porcelain pieces laid around his feet.

"bloody-"

"It's no worries, a few cleaning and repair charms and everything will be right as r... rain?"

Severus having risen to his feet stalked towards the door. "I am going to my chambers to clean up. Good night Poppy." was all he said when he silently left her sitting there watching him with a lost stare. The woman really had no opinion on what to think about the cold man.

With a sigh she pulling her wand out began to cast cleaning charms as a single repair charm began to knit the cups many broken pieces back together.

Severus having entered his chambers, closed the door yet remained there holding the door handle with his forehead pressed against the old wooden door.

Why did he do that? That glass just shattered in his hands...

With a small breath he turning looked at his small domain, a domicile that was his and yet also his very prison.

Removing his hand from the door handle, began walking to the attached bathroom while proceeding to pull off his robe and clothing, letting it simply fall as he walked through the room.

Upon entering the shower, Snape gave a slow breath as the hot water soaked his pale form. He allowed the hot water to wash away not just the tea on his skin but the stresses that he has been holding onto. He knew they would return like they have every other morning when he would awake and realize he was still alive.

Upon using a drying charm on himself, Severus slipping into his covers laid there on his back, wand under his pillow, hands behind his head. He looked to the ceiling above him, his mind filled with many thoughts and yet nothing at all.

The dark mark was gone, the Dark Lord vanquished; so why did he feel something was stirring? With that final unsettling question having gone unanswered, the man fell into a weary slumber unaware how true his thoughts were.

**Gasp! I am starting to get a plot going so it is not just random nonsense! R&R welcomed! Perhaps more chapters this week but no promises^^;**


End file.
